Dating Someone With Depression: What To Know & What To Do

Juliana obtained her Bachelor of Social Work from Temple University and her Master of Social Work with a clinical concentration from the University of Pennsylvania. Juliana’s treatment emphasizes strengths and person-centered approaches, believing in the resilience and individuality of each client. Her work is both passionate and empathetic, fostering a safe and inclusive space where individuals can be who they are without fear of judgment. Now, does this mean that someone living with depression should stop dating or not be in a relationship? When you hear treatable, cue treating your depression with loving-kindness – a little mental health treatment here, some lifestyle changes there.

Related to Depression

Don’t let yourself feel like it’s your job to save them from their sadness. It’stheir job to take the steps they need to keep their depression managed, and you can’t do that for them. No one is perfect, so sometimes the person you want to be with happens to have this illness. You already know there is much more to the person than their depression or you probably wouldn’t want to be with them. You will never be able to cure your partner’s depression, so it doesn’t serve you to try to fix it or change it. It can be difficult to resist arguing about how they view themselves and their lives.

I Feel Depressed

Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships.

If unsatisfied with themselves, it doesn’t take much to make them upset. Often irritable, they become angry at the slightest mention of certain subjects or when you make them feel insecure in the slightest. If you have ever found yourself dating someone with depression, you likely have a lot of insider relationship tips to share. In fact, more than likely, you have come to the conclusion that dating someone with depression can be an absolute nightmare. But, it doesn’t have to be, you just have to know what’s coming. Self-help techniques like mindfulness, meditation, exercise, yoga, and journaling have all been known to reduce symptoms of depression in men.

Remind your partner that you care for them even when they’re feeling at their worst. Be curious about what your partner is feeling, wanting, and needing. It may be as simple as giving them a hug or holding them.

If communication is suffering, consider therapy for depression. Making an appointment with a therapist who can teach you and your partner how to talk to each other more effectively. Talk with your partner about coping strategies that can help you both navigate the symptoms of their depression.

Men with depression may have less interest in having sex and might have trouble with sexual performance. As a result, people with BPD may quickly go from idealization to devaluation—or thinking that their partner is a horrible person. When a person with BPD realizes that their new partner is not faultless, that image of the perfect, idealized soulmate can come crashing down. If you or your partner are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. Dr. Saltz suggested doing your best to learn from any relationship that didn’t work. “It’s always good for you to review for yourself why you chose this person, what was the draw for you,” she said.

Don’t disparage any of the feelings he expresses, but do point out realities and offer hope. Help him focus on his feelings as well as physical ailments, and to be honest about his use of alcohol and drugs. Starting to exercise can be difficult when you’re depressed and feeling exhausted. But research shows that your energy levels will improve if you keep with it. Exercise will help you to feel energized and less fatigued, not more.

Despite its many challenges, the prognosis for BPD is good. This means that while most people with BPD do experience residual symptoms even after time and treatment, in the long term, recovery and healthy relationships are possible. In the DSM-5, symptoms of BPD include intense, unstable, and conflicted personal relationships.

She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. If your girlfriend seems depressed, recognize it as a problem. Don’t brush it off as something she should just “get over.” If she’s already getting treatment, don’t think that the problem is solved—continue to offer support. Rumination mediates the relationship between personality organization and symptoms of borderline personality disorder and depression.

Your partner’s mood may shift from severe depression to severe giddiness, agitation, or anger. Online therapy offers a safe, secure way to interact with licensed therapists. When someone we love is dealing with depression, we want to help but might not know where to start. Symptoms of depression, relational quality, and loneliness in dating relationships. Depression can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. It can affect not only the person who’s living with it, but also their relationships at work, home, and with friends.

If his response seems like an attack, resist the feeling to be defensive. This is vital because attacking back can exacerbate his depression. Stay calm and ensure he knows exactly what you are trying to express.

Because depression tends to affect people’s sense of worth, it can make him believe he does not deserve love. Evgueni Borissenko, who has dealt with severe depression and blogged about it, talked about what this can be like in cases such as his. What has been the biggest obstacle in your relationship, and do you have any other tips you’d like to share with our community? I hope this article has given you deeper insight into what it’s like dating someone with depression and how to cope with it. A better approach would be to help them do some of the things they’re struggling with. While it’s not okay for you to become your partner’s punching bag, cutting them a bit of slack is okay.